Firing well: A founder's guide to letting people go

Alex stared at his phone, heart racing. Today he had to let Tobi go. Tobi was one of his first hires, the first person on sales. In the beginning, everything seemed perfect. Tobi was charismatic, outgoing, and exactly the type of personality you’d imagine thriving in sales.

But as the company grew, and the product-market fit became clearer, Tobi’s performance started to slip. After a new sales hire joined, setting a much higher benchmark, the difference became obvious. Alex tried addressing it during their one-on-ones, but nothing improved. Avoiding the conversation was starting to affect the team’s morale and slowed down growth.

Every founder we support at Uplift Founders eventually faces a moment like this. It’s incredibly tough. You’re responsible for the company’s survival. But you’re also dealing with people’s dreams, relationships, and feelings.

Don’t delay the obvious

Just a few weeks earlier, Alex had been approached by his co-founder and CTO, who looked visibly concerned. “Have you seen Tobi’s latest numbers? What will you do?” Alex felt uneasy. Deep down, he already knew. Avoiding reality wasn’t going to make it disappear. It only made the decision harder.

Yes, firing someone is painful, personal, and stressful. But delaying or mishandling it can hurt your team’s morale and damage your credibility as a leader. Done right it can strengthen your team’s trust and even boost your reputation. Usually, it's one of these limiting beliefs stopping you from making the right decision:

“We won’t find anyone better.”
→ This fear makes you accept mediocrity.

“The team will react negatively.”
→ Worry about team morale stops you from making tough but necessary changes.

“It’s probably good enough.”
→ Lack of clear standards lets you tolerate underperformance.

“Hiring new takes too long”
→ Viewing hiring as a burden stops you from improving your team. It should be your #1 priority.

“I can’t let go of loyal early hires.”
→ Loyalty prevents necessary growth when the company outgrows early team members.

These reasons feel valid, but they often stem from fear rather than logic. And fear is alright and part of this process. It’s just important to acknowledge the fear to understand that it might cause some biases that keep you from accepting reality.

“I should have waited longer with that decision.”

- said no founder ever

Own your responsibility

When it’s time to let someone go, accept your role in the situation. It’s never solely the employee’s fault. Founders often struggle with clear, regular feedback.

At the same time before letting go of an employee we encourage you to reflect on the questions:

Did I clearly communicate expectations?
Did I provide enough feedback?
Was my messaging consistent and clear?

Alex reflected with his co-founders. He had regular one-on-ones, but maybe he wasn’t as clear as he could have been. He also realized that he actually wasn’t taking 1-on-1’s very seriously. The first meeting declined if something seemingly more important popped up was often the 1-on-1. Yet he knew that continuing the feedback cycle wouldn’t change things. He had to act.

Founders often underestimate how frequently feedback needs to be repeated before it truly lands. They assume saying something once or twice should suffice, only to find themselves frustrated later. The reality is, clear messages require continuous reinforcement. As the famous behavioral scientist Konrad Lorenz once said: “Thought does not become clearer through repetition alone, but clearer and more firmly anchored in our memory.”

It always needs clarity and repetition when providing feedback.

Prepare the meeting

Here’s how we typically help founders to handle these conversations clearly and respectfully. And it’s important to emphasize that it is just a framework. You need to find your own style and authenticity in this.

1. Set the meeting

Set the meeting short-term and privately. No mysterious meeting titles.

"Do you have a moment today at 3 pm? There’s something I’d like to discuss 1-on-1."

2. Set the expectation

Avoid small talk or cushioning the message. Clearly set the right tone from the start.

"I want to be upfront. This will be a difficult conversation."

3. Deliver the decision

State your decision immediately, clearly, and firmly.

"I’ve made the decision to let you go. This decision is final."

4. Briefly explain the reason

Clearly explain why this decision was necessary without ambiguity or blame.

„The outcomes of your role haven’t aligned with what the company needs and expects lately. Although we’ve discussed this in previous 1-on-1s, I haven’t seen the progress needed to feel confident to continue."

5. Own responsibility

Clearly acknowledge your part to foster trust and reduce defensiveness.

"I recognize that I could have been even clearer about expectations and more supportive in guiding you. I also take ownership for us reaching this point."

6. Offer support

Clearly communicate your intention to help ease the transition.

“I’d like to actively support you in finding your next opportunity. If you’d like, I’d be happy to provide a positive reference and assist however I can.”

7. Allow space for reflection

Give the employee time to process, clearly signaling openness for follow-up but making clear that now isn’t the moment for detailed discussion.

"I know this is a lot to take in and you probably have many thoughts and emotions right now. If you’d like, we can take some space to process this and schedule a follow-up conversation. And I suggest we take some time to reflect and let it sink in first."

Expect to get some first reactions here. Listen to understand, not to answer. Repeat that more detailed feedback will be better discussed in the next meeting.

8. Clarify practical next steps

Clearly communicate details around termination and next steps, emphasizing respect for their comfort.

"Practically speaking, your contract will officially end on [specific date]. You can decide if you’d prefer to stay for the remainder of the day or leave immediately. Whatever feels most comfortable for you. I’ll also be communicating this decision to the team shortly."

9. Communicate transparently to the team

Clearly inform the team about the departure, showing appreciation and openness for dialogue.

"I want to share openly that we’ve made the difficult decision to let Tobi go. This wasn’t easy, especially as Tobi was one of our earliest team members, and we deeply appreciate his contributions. However, it’s also my responsibility to make tough calls that help us progress as a company. Again, sincere thanks to Tobi. I’ve blocked time over the next hour if anyone has questions or would like to discuss this further. I’m here to listen."

Prepare for reactions

No matter how prepared you are, these conversations rarely go exactly as planned. People react in their own ways. Sometimes emotional, sometimes defensive, sometimes stunned into silence. That’s normal. It’s also not your job to “fix” their reaction, but to hold the space with clarity and respect. You might see tears. You might get silence. You might get a passionate rebuttal. That doesn’t mean you’ve done anything wrong. It means this matters to them.

What helps in these moments isn’t a script, but a mindset:

Stay grounded. Stay kind. Stay clear. You’re not here to argue or justify. You’re here to deliver a hard truth with as much humanity as possible.

Here are a few examples that can help you navigate the conversation:

Typical reactions

If the employee becomes emotional (crying, shock, sadness)

“I completely understand this is very difficult, and I’m genuinely sorry this is painful. Let’s take a moment here. There’s no rush. Whenever you feel ready, we can briefly touch on practical next steps, or we can schedule another time to discuss further.“

If the employee becomes defensive or disagrees strongly

“I understand you may see things differently, and I hear what you’re saying. This decision wasn’t easy or quick, and it wasn’t made lightly. Let’s allow some space to process this first, and if you’d like to discuss specifics later, we can schedule another conversation separately.“

If the employee pushes to negotiate or reverse your decision

“I appreciate this is tough to accept, but my decision here is final. My intention now is to support you however I can through this transition. Let’s focus on what you need next and how I can assist.“

If the employee asks to share the news with the team themselves

“I appreciate that you want to close this out in your own words. I’ll align with you on the message and timing so it doesn’t create confusion. Then I’ll follow up with the team to reinforce clarity and offer space for dialogue.”

These clear, empathetic responses will help you maintain respect, clarity, and firmness throughout the conversation.

Prepare yourself emotionally

Recognize that letting someone go will inevitably trigger emotional responses not just from the employee, but also within yourself. Accept these feelings as natural, but commit to managing them thoughtfully.

Here are some practical tips to help you stay grounded and composed:

Create Emotional Space. Schedule buffer time before and after the conversation. Don’t rush into other tasks or meetings right after.
Find an Anchor. Briefly speak to someone neutral or trusted beforehand. Saying your plan or concerns out loud helps clarify your thoughts and lower anxiety.
Listen to your body. Calmness is contagious. Focus on your breathing, slow down your speech, and keep your communication clear and respectful.

Embrace the tough decisions

Later that evening, Alex felt drained but oddly relieved. He wasn’t euphoric. Far from it. But he was certain he’d done the right thing, both for the company and the team. Difficult decisions, he realized, were exactly what defined good leadership. As tough as today was, he knew they’d all be stronger tomorrow because he had chosen clarity over comfort.

Handling firing conversations well strengthens your leadership, your team’s trust, and your company’s culture. It’s tough but essential, and you’ll be stronger for it.

Notes

*This story is inspired by real coaching work with founders. Details have been adapted and names anonymized to protect confidentiality. The examples are written for learning purposes and do not describe any one individual.